Runs in the Family. Sarah Spain. Deland McCullough.
An Incredible True Story of
Football, Fatherhood and Belonging.
Feeling a sense of belonging and
community is likely a basic human need for all people. We look for family to help foster and
nurture those needs. Sometimes that may
not be enough for certain people, particularly those that know they have been
adopted or suspect that they are. The
book Runs in the Family authored by Sarah Spain and contributor (and
subject) Deland McCullough explains how an adopted person may have a yearning
to have a greater sense of family belonging and identity. It just so happens that Deland McCullough
was also a good football player. The
merger of each individual scenario supports an intriguing true story evoking
growth and greater connections.
I could not help but feel a
connection to this book for a variety of reasons. One reason is the location and proximity of
the story setting. The birth of the
main character took place in Pittsburgh late November of 1972. There was mention of a holding house for
pregnant teenagers which happened to be where one of my relatives had been
briefly employed. An adoption was
consummated shortly after birth.
Another relative of mine is adopted.
The home base of the story takes place in nearby Youngstown, Ohio. Perhaps the universe wanted me to find and
read this book as much as the authors wanted to share the story.
Later in the book the plot
changes perhaps unexpectedly at least for some unsuspecting and unassuming
readers. The event was a jolt to the
senses and in retrospect probably should or could have been anticipated. The impact this had was unlike most of the
books we have reviewed in this blog.
There was some mystery that was brought forth in the beginning stages
but then kept mostly at arm’s length until it was time to reveal the
revelation. This turnabout makes the
book and the story more special to tell and read.
Spain, a regular podcast host and
ESPNW contributor, attempts to explain the psychology and genetic
transformation that take place with adopted children. The concepts of family system and family
wiring are addressed to the readers. The author even goes deeper by explaining
behavior patterns and the impact it has on epigenetics. However, although this information was
interesting it is unclear how much it helps the story or the importance of
including it.
Deland and his brother were raised
together by his mother Adele who struggled to make ends meet and to keep the family
together. This environment of frequent
stress, lack of nutrition and even parenting styles likely shaped his Deland’s
DNA. It was reported that McCullough quietly
questioned his identity and how he fit into his family. Although he learned at a fairly early age
that he was in fact adopted, it was reported that this transaction was put off
to the side and not further explored until the football star and coach was well
into middle age.
McCullough was able to overcome
quite a bit during his youth and adolescence including several living
arrangements and moves, each one seemingly a downgrade from the previous. Often having to go without a car or electricity
where it was reported they would use a chord running from their apartment to
the neighbor’s unit kind enough to let them use their electricity. Perhaps most importantly was the exposure
to the men in his life. His mother
liked a good party and having men in her life.
However, the men she chose or vice-versa all seemed to have personal
issues that were not good for the family.
The experiences were traumatic for Deland contributing to an aggression
of his own in his teens and young adulthood when encountering an aggressive
approach by peers, coaches or otherwise.
All of this led to his belief
that he had to earn his love from family.
As a result of just taking in the abuse and pain suffered, he became “detached
and disassociated” to feel safe while these feelings and experiences were
buried deeper into his subconscious. Fortunately
for McCullough, who earned a football scholarship to Miami of Ohio, a school where
he initially did not fit well into their existing ecosystem, he took courses at
the Oxford based campus that helped him process his deep seeded experiences in
teaching him how to recognize triggers, control reactions and even
self-regulate when experiencing feelings of fight or flight.
As readers might expect,
McCullough moves on with his education, playing career and then after a stint
in counseling becomes a well-respected running back coach at the pro and
college levels, where he currently works at Oklahoma University. He starts a family of his own, a wife and
four boys over time. Through and
despite this he decides to push to find his birth parents. The book reports that this was a lengthy,
arduous process that was not user friendly for the information seekers. Through a phone call McCullough learned a
little more about his birth mother and thus began the process of finding his
second family. This is the point in
the book where family secrets are finally revealed and also seemingly leads to
filling a void in his life that he currently continues to embrace.
The title of the book is catchy
and upon review seems very apt. The
three hundred pages flow nicely and are produced in user friendly chronological
order. It contains a seamless prose
that blends the author’s style with the story contributor as well. The reader will be immersed in a story that
explains family, parenthood and personal growth, beating the odds and exceeding
expectations. One does not have to be a
sports fan or been adopted to enjoy this novel. However, any reader could easily connect
with the story, regardless of their geographical or biological roots because as
humans we all want to belong and be part of something bigger in our lives and
community.
Suggested discussion questions:
What is the purpose of telling
this story?
How should parents of adopted
children address the subject of adoption with their children?
What is one reason why adoptive
children should seek their biological parents?
What is the difference between
grace and mercy?
How would you evaluate the way
Deland McCullough’s mother handled the situation with her adopted son?
You
might like to read this book if you are a fan of Deland McCullough.
You
might like to read this book if you seek stories about African American
football players.
You
might like to read this book if you are interested to learn more about African
American football coaches.
You might like to read this book
if you need to find biographies about adoptees.
You might like to read this book
if you relish reading stories about adopted children and family relationships.
You might like to read this book
if you are searching for autobiographies pertaining to adult children or
dysfunctional families in the United States.
Read more about the author on
X: https://x.com/SarahSpain
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